Change Becomes Change

The Importance of Play

I don't know about your kids, but mine can create quite the ruckus. Their play often turns into crazy time with a trail of stuffies, toys, and art supplies throughout the house. And, oh, the volume of giggles and shrieks. It's tempting to plop them in front of the TV to get some clean up done, or encourage them to go look at books, or play a nice game that doesn't make a mess.

Please tell me we're not the only ones with tiny cuts of paper all over the house. Often.

But that's not the job of a child. Their job is to play (although it's really nice when they also clean up as part of their job). Our first experience with preschool was a play-based experience where children learn by playing. There's so many important lessons that they learn through play and interactions with other children: cooperation, team work, problem solving, creative thinking, and more.

My butterfly girl.

When my oldest was just a baby a short seven years ago, Baby Einstein movies were the big thing we all had to share with our children to give them a head start. We fell for it and had a handful of videos that he'd watch from time to time but he wasn't really into TV - he'd rather play than watch.

Drawing in the sand.

Sometimes, our kids are way smarter than we think they are.

Just last week there was an article in CNN that praised play-based early childhood education for better preparing our kids for life. Here's a little excerpt:

When a four-year-old destroys someone's carefully constructed block castle or a 20-year-old belligerently monopolizes the class discussion on a routine basis, we might conclude that they are unaware of the feelings of the people around them.

We all know an adult or two like that, right?

The beauty of a play-based curriculum is that very young children can routinely observe and learn from others' emotions and experiences. Skills-based curricula, on the other hand, are sometimes derisively known as "drill and kill" programs because most teachers understand that young children can't learn meaningfully in the social isolation required for such an approach.

Over the years I've learned that my children are at their happiest, and truly thriving when they're engaged in imaginative play, whether alone, with each other or a friend. I'm not worried about their academic careers because that will come in time. For now, I want them to explore, be curious, pretend, imagine and experience. That's it.

How Can I Change The World?

On a recent lazy weekend, my kids were creating masterpieces for an upcoming art show they’re planning. This will be their second big art show – their debut was during our Thanksgiving visit with family down in California. They charged an admittance fee (with a nice discount for early birds), and sold their art to high bidders. They decided that 100% of the proceeds would go to our local Oregon Food Bank, a collection they’ve been working on for a few months now.

While working on her creations, my four year old daughter wanted to know why people help other people, so I tried explaining to her why it’s good to give of our time or other means to people who need it more than we do. This wasn’t the easiest conversation I’ve had with her, but I think some of it came across.

Then I mentioned that, even at four years old, she could make the world a better place.

And her face just lit up. She looked at me with curious excitement in her eyes and asked, “really mommy…what can I do to make the world better?”

I’ve not spent much time here at Change Becomes Change since I’ve followed my personal passions to launch Feed Our Families, but this exchange with my daughter has inspired me to return. It’s easy for all of us – young and old, rich and poor – to forget, or not realize that, yes, we can all make the world a better place.

She’s busy making art for a show when her grandparents visit next month, and is looking forward to the spring beach clean up with SOLV. And I couldn’t be more proud of my little change agent.

Changes in Attitude

It's officially fall. A day I hadn't been looking forward to with much anticipation. Here in the northwest we had a late start to summer (really late) and it turned out to be a cool, damp one. It felt like we were just getting settled into the carefree days of summer when school started, and our rain.

As I stare at my summer wardrobe for the last time this year, it's a reflective moment and a turning point for so many reasons.

There's the shorts, flip flops and tees that I just didn't get to wear often enough this year, and often when I did, they were covered with a jacket to stay warm. There's the sweatshirts that were never retired for the summer and potentially worn more often than last winter. And there's the strappy sundresses and capped sleeve tops that didn't fit (again) this year because I didn't meet my fitness goals.

And that just opens up another can of disappointment: Fit by 40 didn't happen this year. I've been mourning my messed up nose that prevents easy breathing during exercise, and sulking over not having the $5,000 to spend on it. It's likely time to move on.

But, back to clothes. As I reorganize my closet, moving summer clothes to the dark little area in the back, while bringing fall and winter clothes to the current-season position, I am reminded of the colors and textures of fall that I love. Cozy orange sweaters, green corduroy pants, tweed skirts, and tall black boots.

And I suddenly have a new outlook on fall. 

Later as I sort through my son's fall clothes from last year to see what needs to be taken to the consignment shop, outside his window I notice how much of our big tree out front has started to turn colors. I remember that I love the turning of the leaves. It's one of my favorite events of the year, likely because I had to wait 30 years to witness. I love watching the leaves fall from the trees, then scoop them up and kick them as high as we can into the air on cool afternoon walks.

As we dusted off our rain boots for the first rainy soccer game this season, the kids remembered how fun it is to jump in puddles that are always at their best in the fall. They start to ask about pumpkin patches and apple picking - special fall trips that they enjoy.

Since I'm organizing, and adjusting my attitude about saying goodbye to summer, I decide it's time to stop grieving my nose. There's still many things I can do to move my body without running or biking, like jumping in puddles or kicking leaves on a walk to feed the ducks. The disappointment is still there, but the 10-ish pounds of baby fat doesn't need to be.

It's time to look forward. I like this new attitude. This new perspective. On fall, and the changes that come with it. Change can become change.

 

My Lesson Learned From Toy Story 3

I have to admit: the third Toy Story was hands-down my favorite of the series. And I did not want to see it. I wasn't crazy about having to spend close to $50 for our family of four to go see a kid's movie but we went to the morning show and saved a few  bucks. The real reason this movie didn't make the top of move list was one of the stars: Barbie.

I totally enjoyed my Barbie dolls and her mobile home when I was young, but I don't want my four year old daughter to fall in love too young. She still loves her baby dolls and isn't even ready for "dolls" like my Cabbage Patch doll she has, let alone for Barbie-style dolls with a mature figure, jobs and a boyfriend.

But we went. And my husband and I both agreed that Barbie and Ken contributed to a lot of the adult humor throughout the whole movie. It was a nice surprise. And our daughter hasn't mentioned the B-doll's name once!

And then there was another, even bigger surprise: I cried. Hard. Was not expecting that.

Kids grow up, I know this. But I don't want mine growing up too fast. I want to hold onto their youth as long as I possibly can. I love to snuggle with them and share special moments reading and sharing dreams and ideas. Now, this doesn't mean that we treat them like babies. In fact, we've always tried hard to avoid baby talk, and treat them like capable, respectable, little people.

But we know that they do grow up fast. We hear from more experienced parents all the time that they mature while we blink. Since I can't stop blinking, and I can't slow down time, I'll do what I can to enjoy every minute of their childhood. Just last week I read this article about distracted, multitasking parenting and the unfortunate impact to our children from our own excessive screen time.

There's no email, tweet or text message more important than looking my children in the eye when they want to tell me about their day. If you call during dinner time, you'll leave a message. I will finish Pinkalicious or Where The Wild Things Are before catching up on Facebook.

Today I promise to give my children more time, more attention, more mommy. A couple more blinks, and they won't want to share their fantasies and dreams cuddled up in bed with me on a Saturday morning.

Let's Keep Lead Out of Children's Toys

Or...More On Our Exposure to Lead.

Yesterday we talked about lead in our fruit juices. Well today's headlines are about lead and children's toys.

USA Today ran an article that details the impact to small businesses that are felt by legislation meant to keep lead and other toxins away from products for children.  We know that toxins like lead and phthalates are used in many manufacturing processes, so the government places the responsibility on companies selling these products to ensure their safety. Testing these items can be timely and expensive and the small business may face costly exposure if their goods turn out contaminated.

Some companies take preventative steps by contracting only with suppliers and factories that guarantee they, and their products, will meet U.S. strict safety laws and test their products regularly to prove so. As a former product buyer and importer, I have conducted many quality visits to factories to make sure they were upholding their end of our agreement and understand how things can inadvertently "slip" if precautions aren't taken seriously. 

But I'm a parent now, and I expect the manufacturers to put a portion of the cost of their goods to take every precaution possible and necessary to help me keep my children safe from toxins.

Are my expectations unrealistic?

We tend to buy toys and other products for our kids and as gifts from companies who don't manufacture their items in China, use wood or other sustainable and safe materials, and follow other eco-friendly practices. I wish it were easier to find these companies and less expensive to buy their products so that more consumers would make these choices. And someday it will. These types of items are beginning to show up on the shelves of mainstream retailers like Target and Toys R Us, as shoppers vote with their almighty dollar for the green choice.

What steps are you taking to avoid (or minimize) your family's exposure to toxins? How do you find products that meet your standards?

 

Plan Toys Chalet Doll House

I have to say, we love Plan Toys and have many of their toys including this doll house, parking garage, airport, barn and many accessories. We've been buying and giving this brand for years and our kids love them all. The doll house is made from organic, recycled rubber wood and the paints have passed safety tests which means it's good for the environment and good for my children.

Raising Awareness of Breast Cancer with a Dance

May is Woman's Health Month, which brings a great opportunity to remind us how important early detection of breast cancer is: the number of patients who lose the battle against breast cancer is decreasing annually, which is likely due to early detection and improved treatment. After skin cancer, breast cancer is the most commonly found type of cancer and is usually treatable when found early. Got it: early detection can save lives. Why aren't more of us doing it?

Critical to saving lives is awareness of the dangers, education on how to reduce our risks, and research to find new treatment options.

Well, last fall, a local Portland hospital partnered with a medical glove manufacturer to tell the nursing community about these pink gloves. With each case of pink gloves sold, the manufacturer would donate one dollar to the National Breast Cancer Foundation. At a recent American Marketing Association meeting, the hospital's marketing staff shared this campaign that touched so many lives across the country.

Because breast cancer touches us all.

As I watched the video for the first time, I was flooded with emotions. It was shot at St Vincent hospital where my babies were born. Having two babies in the NICU (one for seven days), we spent a lot of time at St Vincent and were always treated with warm, welcome arms - the good people at St Vincent are amazing and it shows in the video. Going home without your baby and having to say goodbye everyday is heart wrenching, but knowing she was in good hands made it a little easier. And I prayed each time I walked by the St Vincent Breast Cancer Center that I would be there to watch my little girl play with her dollies, go to prom, get married and have children of her own.

I also reflected back on my very first Susan G Komen Breast Cancer Awareness Walk with friends in Texas. I so vividly remember seeing a little boy about four years old with a sign on his back that read "In Memory of Mommy", clearly written by himself. That was the first, but not the last time I cried that day.

If you have a friend or loved one that has battled breast cancer, I hope you'll watch this in honor of them and feel good knowing that there are many people and organizations raising funds for more research.If you'd like to help further that research along, you can donate to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation, Susan G Komen for the Cure, the National Breast Cancer Foundation, or one of the many other outstanding organizations supporting research on this important topic.

If you haven't done so already, talk with your doctor to learn how early detection can increase your chance of survival, how to do a self exam, and when you should schedule a mammogram. And take your mom, too.

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Giving Thanks All Year

Many years ago I kept a bedside gratitude journal where I recorded what I was grateful for each day. Some days, there were a few things, other days there was an entire page. On those tough days where I found it difficult to find much to be thankful for, I'd look through past entries to remind myself how fortunate I am. 

Gratitude is a a value that we feel strongly about in our family. It's important to us that our children recognize how blessed they are, be thankful and help others who aren't as fortunate. There are certain traditions we have to keep this goal alive like the I am Thankful books they each make at Thanksgiving time, or the nightly thanks we give at dinner or bedtime.

We've found that the random moments of appreciation are often the most meaningful to them. This last week has included moments like:

• Being thankful for the most beautiful day of the year

• Being thankful for the rain to help the spring flowers grow

• Being thankful for our home after seeing new pictures of the "tent city" in Haiti

• Being thankful for family and good friends that are practically family

• Being thankful for good food like all the vegetables at the farmer's market

• Being thankful for spring and all the flowers and trees waking up again

The great thing about kids is that, even on their grumpiest day, it's easy for them to start thinking of all the wonderful things in their life once you get them started. We sometimes use this little exercise to get them out of a bad or negative mood and it always works...like a charm! 

Now it's your turn to share some ideas...what are you doing to help your kids be thankful? What are you thankful for today?

Turn Off the Screens - Can You Do It?

It's a sad fact that screen time for kids as young as preschoolers is on the rise. Some parents believe that their child is learning valuable lessons in front of the screen that will give them an advantage in school.  Not so.

What do kids really need...and want? More time with parents, family and playing, preferably outdoors.

Now, this is no easy task in today's media-frenzy society. I know. I love a good episode of Glee, the kids enjoy taking care of their webkinz gardens and we all look forward to family movie night. Who doesn't?

While we enjoy it, screen time for kids comes with risks. Childhood obesity and attention-deficit problems increase with each hour of TV that preschoolers and school-aged children consume. Academic performance declines and children who are watching TV aren't reading books. And they're not playing outside.

Some screen time is ok for kids over 3 years old, but "some" is the key word. We need to know what their watching, share the experience with them and limit the amount of time they spend with media.

So, April 19 thru April 26 is the official Turn Off Screens Spring Week and I'm hoping you'll join us in decreasing (or eliminating) your family's screen time.

Here's a few ideas to help you get started to fill the time that used to be spent in front of a screen:

Read Together - go to the library and stock up for the week!

Cook or Bake - get in the kitchen with your kids and teach them about healthy eating and how fun and tasty it can be

Garden - get your hands in the dirt and plant something edible to teach your children where their food comes from

Play - go to a park, invite friends over, go bowling or indoor rock climbing, play games or cards...whatever you do for fun

Move - ride bikes, go for a walk or hike, try a new sport with your entire family...just get outside

Get Green - it's Earth Month so there's a ton of ideas out there from starting a compost and recycling more, to planting trees to picking up trash or helping at an ivy pull

What's your family's favorite ways to spend time together away from a screen?

Quick Tips for National Cancer Prevention Month

The following was originally posted at Healthy Child Healthy World whose mission is to ignite a movement that inspires parents to protect young children from harmful chemicals. Cancer and chemicals are important issues for our family and this article provides easy tips to reduce our risk of cancer by reducing our exposure to chemicals.

February is National Cancer Prevention Month and while most everyone focuses on diet, exercise, and quitting smoking as the core ways to prevent cancer – they’re forgetting another pillar of prevention. Reducing exposure to carcinogens in our everyday environments.

Hundreds of carcinogenic chemicals have been identified and, unfortunately, they’re quite common in our air, water, food, and everyday products. Here are some easy ways you can reduce your exposure to them.

1. Purge Plastics. Reduce exposure to carcinogens in plastics used for storing and serving food. Avoid microwaving food in plastic or putting plastics in the dishwasher, because heat may cause chemicals to leach out. And opt for safer plastics - those marked (usually at the bottom of a container) 1, 2, 4 or 5. The plastics to avoid are those numbered 3, 6 and 7 (unless they are also marked 'BPA-free')."



2. Eat Healthy. Opt for more organic, whole foods. Ease up on animal fats. And, start reading labels. You are what you eat!



3. Manage Pests Safely. Instead of using toxic pesticides, prevent pests by keeping a clean home. Prevent weeds by using mulch and maintaining a healthy lawn. If you do have a problem, opt for non-toxic methods before reaching for chemicals.



4. Detoxify Your Beauty Routine. Personal care products contain a laundry list of suspect chemicals. Reduce how much you use and to use Skin Deep to find the safest products. You can also print the Healthy Child Pocket Guide to help you on the go.



5. Clean Without Toxic Chemicals. Use gentle castile soap and water - these have been shown to keep surfaces as free of bacteria as antibacterial soaps do. In fact, antibacterial soaps and disposable wipes have not proven any more effective than regular soap in preventing infections among average consumers, but raise significant concerns about developing resistant bacteria. Opt for simple kitchen ingredients for basic cleaning, like vinegar, lemon juice, and baking soda - or use natural, non-toxic cleaners instead.

Starting Again

I can't believe that it's a year since we started Change Becomes Change as part of our family Lenten project to do nice deeds for others. We've all learned a lot over the past year and have grown closer as a family in our service journey.

I know we're doing good work in our community and I see little signs that our efforts are also making an impression on the children. We had a special family Valentine's dinner and we each shared what we love about our family. My son said: that we help others.

That kid knows just how to get me all choked up

That same evening we started talking about what we wanted to do for Lent this year. Do we want to make a sacrifice and give something up? Do we want to serve others? It was a unanimous decision to find ways to touch another life each of the next 40 days in a special way.

We generated some new ideas and the kids offered up some of their favorites like feeding the hungry, calling grandparents more often, filling other people's buckets and picking up trash. I was pleased to see that they could reflect back on the past year and recall some of the good deeds they'd accomplished and how good it felt to help.

For today, they bought food for the hungry after school and made special notes for their grandparents who are coming to visit. We'll be sharing some of the new ideas that we're excited about very soon...so stay tuned.

We'd also love to hear of some new ideas you have to get your children involved in helping others. What have you done with your family? 

Here are some of our favorite ways that we've helped others this past year:

Doing Good with One Click

The Little Things That Count

Feeding the Homeless

Building a Hunger Garden